Reason's Got Nothing to do With It
by Nefhiriel
Summary: Humor, humor and more humor! I hope you all think it’s funny, I did me best mate!. Fun dialogue between Jack & Will. R&R please.
1. Reason's Got Nothing to do With It

Reason's Got Nothing to do With it  
  
By: By Nefhiriel Brelgonwen Vódia  
  
Rating: G  
  
Intro: Doesn't the title about explain it all? It's a little snippet that takes place right after Jack and Will "commandeered" the Interceptor. A rather pointless snippet I might add, with pointless conversation, and a pointless plot, did I mention that this is pointless? Oh well, I happen to think pointless can be fun (I hope you think so too). Besides, half the dialogue is ramblings from our favorite Cap'in Jack – got to love that guy! My first PotC fan fic, so I *really* need reviews.  
  
A/N: I want to get as many points of view as possible, so please R&R for me!  
  
On with the story...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The H.M.S. Interceptor rose and fell on the gently rolling swells. The Western sky was dazzlingly bright with the last blushing remnants of the sunset. In the East stars were just beginning to dot the horizon.  
  
Two figures could be seen at the stern of the ship, Captain Jack Sparrow was at the helm and beside him sat his newest acquaintance, Will Turner. Will had his sword out of it's scabbard and was carefully looking down the blade, wiping it clean with a piece of cloth. Jack stood by the wheel, occasionally turning it left or right, and staring across the expanse of peaceful waters. Will was fully immersed in cleaning his sword, and didn't notice when Jack started watching him.  
  
"Is that all you do in your spare time?" the pirate asked, slightly slurring his words, as usual.  
  
"What?" Will asked, looking up from his sword. He had been so absorbed in his own thoughts he had hardly realized the silence had been broken.  
  
"I said, is that all you do in your spare time? I mean, swords an' all – you make 'em, use 'em, fix 'em, clean 'em..."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Silence descended, but only for a moment. Just when Will though he would be left to his own thoughts, Jack began again:  
  
"What do you mean, 'yes'? That's all that's all you're going to say?"  
  
Will slid his sword back into his sheath and put his hand to his forehead.  
  
"Look, obviously you have never heard of one syllable answers. Where I come from they are used quite often."  
  
"What a pity, you must have simply awful communication problems."  
  
"Is this all *you* do in your spare time?" Jack gave him a puzzled expression. "Talking." he clarified.  
  
"Just looking for a little elaboration, mate, no need to get all upset." he exclaimed, pulling out a compass out and gazing at it for a minute before putting it back. He muttered under his breath: "Obviously this one gets a bit grouchy at night..."  
  
"What did you say? Seriously, sometimes it's next to impossible to understand you." Will said, shaking his head.  
  
"Me? – hard to understand?" Jack said innocently. Will rolled his eyes.  
  
"You said it, not me. Now you're getting off track, what was it you were saying just now?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"I *know* you're talking about me, what did you say?"  
  
"How did you know *that*?"  
  
"So you admit you were talking about me?"  
  
Jack cursed under his breath.  
  
"I said: Obviously this one gets a bit grouchy at night!" he said, wildly gesturing at Will. "Happy?"  
  
"Are you going to talk or steer?"  
  
"Both, why?"  
  
"If you *must* talk with your hands, Jack, you really should limit yourself to one. At least when you're trying to steer a ship."  
  
"*Captain* Captain Jack Sparrow – how many times must I tell you people – it's Captain!"  
  
"Maybe nobody calls you 'Captain' because you don't act or sound much like a normal captain."  
  
"Well I'm not a *normal* captain, I'm the famous Captain Jack Sparrow."  
  
"Don't you mean *infamous*."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean? Of course I mean *famous*, I have been Captain of many ships."  
  
"And lost many more, apparently your last one as well."  
  
"I'm gonna get it back!" he said resentfully, looking at Will out of the corner of his eye. "Let me tell you a story, luv, to explain me self."  
  
Will groaned, but Jack continued undaunted.  
  
"There I was, surrounded by ten fierce pirates, and me just having got me sea legs an all. But I knew that I must protect the Captain at all costs, so I pulled out me sword and began to defend me self."  
  
Encouraged by the interested and serious look on Will's face he continued telling his adventure.  
  
"I took down the first seven easily and while five of them cowards huddled in a corner I killed the other three and then took the rest on – now how's that for bravery, mate? You can't blame me that eventually they gained the upper hand and took the ship, I did me part."  
  
"First you fought with seven?" Will asked, looking intently at Jack.  
  
"Right." Jack nodded in the affirmative.  
  
"Then you killed three more?"  
  
"Right again." he smiled proudly.  
  
"And then you took on five more?"  
  
"Still right on."  
  
"But that makes fifteen – not ten."  
  
Jack held up his fingers and counted to himself.  
  
"How very observant of you."  
  
"What about the five extra pirates?"  
  
"Well his friends joined him!"  
  
"Tell me the actual story, how many others helped you?"  
  
"The *actual* story! What do you mean the *actual* story!" Jack said indignantly.  
  
"I mean *actual* as in: factual, legitimate, true, real , accurate, correct, authentic – need I say more?"  
  
Jack sulked.  
  
"Honestly mate, sometimes I think you have absolutely no faith in me at all. I'm hurt, luv, I though that I'd found a friend as actually believed me." Jack said feigning great disappointment.  
  
"You mean you thought you had actually found a friend naïve enough to believe your stories."  
  
Will laughed as the flustered pirate tried to say more. He had a feeling that it was hard to get Jack flustered, he really should take advantage of the situation.  
  
This pirate was certainly a hard one to figure out, earlier that day he had been threatening to throw him in the ocean, now he was talking amiably with him and telling stories. Somehow he wanted to trust this complex pirate, but could he? He wondered much about his past, but doubted that there was a way to get a strait story out of him. He would just *have* to trust him, a thing he hated to do when it was Elizabeth's life that was on the line. Will watched the silhouetted form before him sway back and forth, using his peculiar gestures as he talked to put emphases on certain words. Even in the gathering dark he could still see the red bandanna that the pirate wore around his head, and occasionally caught the sparkle of the dying sun, reflecting off one of the gold objects in his hair. There was something strangely amusing, and strangely endearing about Captain Jack Sparrow. 


	2. My Effects Please – and My Hat!

Reason's Got Nothing to do With It (Part 2)  
  
My Effects Please – and My Hat!  
  
A/N: This story was originally just a fun little "snippet" that I did as a stress relief from another hard story I was working on. It still is to some extent, but I'm thinking that I will just keep going until I run out of things to say(or rather Jack and Will do :). Does anyone know how long it takes to go from Port Royal to Tortuga and from Tortuga to Isla De Muerta? I'm wondering how much time I have...  
  
I have a reference to one of my favorite books in this next part. It should be obvious if you have read this book, keep your eyes open, and tell me what it is!  
  
A special thanks to: Kuamasgirl556, Elfobsession2931, Mako-chan Wolf, Mecano_girl, and dailysuicide718 for reviewing my story. The more reviewers the merrier – so keep them coming! (I am trying to get more people to say "please, please, write more!" – like that's going to happen...) Seriously, if I start to get annoying, feel free to ignore me. I'll just keep chattering on to myself ...(my sister says I'm schizophrenic : ). This is just to much fun to stop now I'm started! I would *really* value some opinions though.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Are you even listening to a word I've been saying, mate?" Jack pulled Will's attention back to what he was saying.  
  
"Hm, what did you say?" Will asked, absent-mindedly pulling his sword out again.  
  
There wasn't much light to see it by, but he enjoyed the feel of the weapon in his hands none the less. The sound of the waves lapping against the side of the ship lulled his senses. He looked up at the darkness spreading out above him, millions upon millions of stars twinkled back at him. He thought about Elizabeth and wondered if she might be looking at the same scene.  
  
"Well, it's easy to see who your thinkin' about," Jack rudely jerked him out of his reverie. Will sighed. "It's all to easy, luv."  
  
"Even *you* must have truly loved a woman *sometime* in your life!" Will said.  
  
Jack looked thoughtfully off into the moon-lit night and Will almost expected to get a serious reply. But by the grin on Jack's face when he looked back he knew himself to be mistaken.  
  
"Actually, no, I haven't." Jack said smiling broadly. "And if doing so would make me do any of the stupid things your doin', luv, I suppose I should thank me lucky stars I never have been in such a state."  
  
"You're hopeless, Captain Sparrow." Will said, in his exasperation using Jack's much desired title.  
  
"Captain!" Jack exclaimed delightedly, ignoring the sarcasm dripping from Will's voice. "You used me title!"  
  
"You're *extremely* desperate," Will laughed, "but whatever makes you happy, Captain."  
  
Jack's grin split from ear to ear, he didn't care who was doing the talking, or why. Will decided to humor him:  
  
"I'll call you the Tisroc of Tashbaan, just so long as you take me to the Black Pearl – and Elizabeth..."  
  
"See, that's just what I mean. You're completely obsessed with swords and this bonnie lass of yours."  
  
Will only laughed some more.  
  
"I think I'll go get some sleep." he said, standing up and walking to the door of the captain's quarters. Jack, who didn't seem to take much notice of his doings, had started to sing some song. Probably, Will assumed, of his own invention. He opened the door and was about to go in when Jack called out to him:  
  
"I hope you wake up with a little more sense, mate, you could make an excellent pirate. Oh, and I hope your not this grouchy in the morning – you are at least morning person, aren't you?"  
  
"Actually, I'm a night person, you just bring the worst out in me."  
  
"Peas in a pod, luv, peas in a pod." Jack said, motioning between the two of them with his hands.  
  
Will entered the cabin, shaking his head and chuckling as he though about the peculiar companion he was traveling with.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He woke up early and went back out on deck. Jack was standing in the same position and still singing as he rocked back and forth, hands on the wheel.  
  
"Don't tell me you've been out here all night!" Will said.  
  
"What do you expect me to be tellin' you then?" Jack asked, "That we just happen to have a stowaway, who also just happens to be a skilled captain and ,no, I haven't been out here all night I trusted this said stowaway to steer me ship?"  
  
"You really should have woke me up." Will said, taking his seat again.  
  
"And had you steer? I think I would have let the stowaway give me a hand first. Nothin' personal, mate."  
  
"Still, I think that I could probably do better than a half-asleep pirate."  
  
"I wasn't half-asleep!"  
  
"Ok, then an *entirely* asleep pirate. I doubt even the famous Captain Jack Sparrow can steer in his sleep. Is this how you lost your last ships, crashed them in your sleep?"  
  
"I wasn't asleep *at all*! And that's not how I lost me ships."  
  
Will raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Maybe one."  
  
Will's eyebrows raised even more.  
  
"Or two." Jack added.  
  
"How many ships have you had?"  
  
"Nosey, aren't ya."  
  
"I have told you all about my life."  
  
"Yes, but I didn't ask you to."  
  
"Have it your way."  
  
Will shrugged and looked up at the cloudless sky. The sun was up and pouring itself generously down upon his bare head, he squinted hard under it's relentless rays. Jack flashed him a gold toothed smile:  
  
"You need to find yourself a hat, mate."  
  
"Why don't you give me yours? A *Captain* like you should have a much more impressive hat than that pitiful little piece of leather you're wearing."  
  
"No, no, not me hat!" Jack said, bewildering Will with the amount of horror on his face. The pirate actually looked terrified. "Not me hat!"  
  
"And why not? What is so important about it?"  
  
"It's of sentimental value."  
  
"Of sentimental value? This I've got to hear!"  
  
"You remember that story I told you yesterday?"  
  
"And just how was I suppose to forget it?"  
  
"Well, it's right after that I got me hat. We were all locked up in the hull, but the Captain said that I had done very well. The Captain was so proud of me he took the hat of his head right there and then and put it on me head, he said it was for me bravery and valor in the face of danger and almost certain death. He said that if I was ever to get out of there alive, I was to wear it proudly."  
  
"I'm assuming it was a good deal more attractive back then..."  
  
"It was newer if that's what you mean. But this here hat has seen me through many an adventure. It's escaped from the gallows with me, nearly drown with me, endured many storms, survived bloody Norington, and even lived to tell the tale after a mutiny or two. Now can you see what this hat means to me?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"But it's almost never left me head these twelve years!"  
  
"That is a piece of information I am very glad to have learned *before* I insisted that you give it to me. You say you nearly drowned in it?"  
  
"The least of it's accomplishments."  
  
"It's comforting to know that it got a good washing at least *once* in those twelve years."  
  
"Don't tell me you have absolutely *no* tale to tell of your clothes."  
  
"Hate to disappoint you, but..."  
  
Will looked Jack up and down. Maybe he should just start with the bandanna and work his way down, he was sure to get a story or two out of each article of his apparel.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Jack asked, watching Will scan him.  
  
"Nothing." Will said looking away.  
  
The eyeliner was *very* interesting... He wondered where all the beads and gold objects in his hair had come from. Jack had such a bizarre collage of head-wear and hair-style, and wore clothes so faded and worn that you couldn't rightly say what color they were originally. The ship rolled to one side as Jack turned the wheel to his left.  
  
"I think I'll go get us something to eat." Will said.  
  
"And find yourself a hat!" 


End file.
